I’m so hard on myself. I’ve always struggled with the idea that I must be perfect. It’s partly from my childhood, but partly just who I am. Others can make mistakes, but I cannot. If people could hear the negative self-talk that goes on in my head – they’d be shocked.

I seem to have a difficult time accepting God’s love, I guess it’s because I don’t feel I’ve earned it. Have you felt this way? It’s like I have this idea of who I think I’m supposed to be, the perfect LISA. I’ve learned, that as I attempt to be the perfect LISA, I am missing out on the real LISA. My ideas of perfection get in the way of knowing who I really am.

Most of us carry around a whole bunch of expectations on ourselves. We believe the lies we’ve been told about who we are. We accept without examination the labels that others have placed on us.

How refreshing would it be to rid yourself of these obstacles to true Self-Knowledge? Would you like to free yourself from the lies and labels that hold you back from experiencing God’s love, even if you aren’t sure you deserve it.

Spiritual Direction can help you shed the lies and labels. Would you like to enter into a new way of seeing yourself? Let’s begin the journey. 

I know I write a lot about my mother, but her faith had a profound effect on me. She died of cancer when I was 28. Odd to think, I’ve lived half my life without her. She had a strong faith in God, one that I didn’t fully understand until she was gone.

While she lived, I was spoiled. I could tap into her “god-connection” anytime by simply calling her. When she died, I was forced to figure out this god-guy on my own. In one respect it was hard, and in another it was easy.

I had to apply myself. I had to ask hard questions. And I had to accept harder answers. Everything I thought I knew was challenged, and she was no longer available through a simple phone call.

In my search, something remarkable happened. As I reached out to God for answers, He reached back to me. I didn’t expect that. I figured that having a faith was like most things in my life, I’d have to depend on myself to get it accomplished. But as I opened myself up to God, He was faithful to meet me in my confusion and help me along the way.

Are you finding the answers to your questions? Are you looking for a new way to hear God. Take a look at my Resources. You might find something that will help. Drop me an email if you have something specific you’d like to discuss. Or visit my Spiritual Direction page and we can begin a discussion.

~ lisa

I have always found it encouraging to know that we are not alone on this journey to God. There are many who have traveled the road before us and they have left us an abundant supply of tools to utilize in our own efforts. Our lives should be devoted to learning all we can, striving always to know more about God.

BUT, there is an inherent limit to our learning. For hard as we may try, God is beyond our understanding. He is, in the truest sense – Unknowable.

As I began my Spiritual journey, I committed myself to learning all I could about God, His ways, His desires, His plans. As my understanding of God grew, God grew. As my understanding of His love and mercy grew, His love and mercy grew. Without realizing it, I was defining God based on my understanding of Him.

Then my daughter suffered a brain injury which left her cognitively diminished. Her understanding of God changed. As I observed this shift, I realized God didn’t change, only her understanding of him changed. His power was not diminished because her lack of understanding or belief.

I realized then that this must be true for me too. God was not limited by my understanding of him. He is larger than what I can know, larger than what I can experience. If my cognitive functions become diminished, God will not change, only my understanding of Him will change.

As I spent time thinking on this, I came across something written by a Benedictine Abbot. Now Abbots are the leaders in monastic communities, and if ANYONE knows something about God, it would be an Abbot. Yet his writing revealed something different:

Always the search after charity,
Always the search after Christ.
The soul never finding satisfaction in love,
Never knowing whether Christ is found or not.
Walking on the way, but not being sure about it;
Living for the truth, but having to make acts of faith about it.
Sharing the life, but feeling dead.
This is faith.
– Dom Hubert Van Zeller, “The Inner Search”

If you desire to grow Spiritually, you must be willing to accept this truth. In the end result, God is unknowable. This may require full abandonment of what you think you know. And in this abandonment two things are required: humility and trust.

In humility, you yield to God, and
In trust, you follow God.
… often knowing not where He is leading, nor even who He is.

Simple? No, but I believe this is the essence of faith. Wrestle with it, and let me know what you think.

Just three weeks into our 40 days and I’m already feeling behind. Well, regardless, I’m thankful for the pause this season offers me.

For the last 5 years I have made a private retreat during Lent. This year I find myself with the Holy Cross Sisters. They have a lovely convent and retreat house in Ventura, California. You can find a link to their Siena Prayer Center on my resources page. 

Once a week one of the sisters invite the community to practice Centering Prayer and Lectio Divina, I was fortunate enough to have joined them a few nights ago.

If you’ve never practiced the Centering Prayer, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is similar to the eastern practice of meditation, except where the eastern practice is to become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on nothing but your breathing, the Christian tradition, helps you become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on being in God’s presence.

So often in our prayers we ask God to be with us. When truly, he is always with us, we just forget, or we don’t “feel” his presence. The Centering Prayer gives you an opportunity to practice your awareness of his presence. If you missed my post about it, you can read it here.

The Holy Cross Sisters take this a step further and follow their Centering Prayer practice with a group session of Lectio Divina. (Latin for “Divine Reading”) I enjoy group Lectio because I am able to listen to how God uses the same passage to meet numerous people right where they are, and last week was no different. Sr. Gloria Valdovinos skillfully lead us through group Lectio with the passage of the Prodigal Son.

The practice of Lectio Divina is a simple, intentional reading of a sacred passage. Traditionally there are four stages: Lectio, Meditatio, Oratio, and Contemplatio. In English, you might say: Reading, Ruminating, Response, and Rest.

For me there is a physical movement of the passage; it enters into my being through my eyes, LECTIO – reading. It moves into my mind for mediation – MEDITATIO. God allows something in the passage to touch my life, and I develop a verbal response to the passage, ORATIO – prayer. Finally, I give the passage rest in my heart, CONTEPLATIO – contemplation.

An ancient practice, Lectio Divina has its roots in the Benedictine tradition. Although practiced by the Holy Cross Sisters as a group exercise, it is usually worked as an individual spiritual practice.

I thought during Lent you might be interested in learning more about it and giving it a try, so I’ve put together some information on it. Click here and I’ll send it off to you. The information is borrowed, with permission from Fr. Luke Dysinger, OSB, of Saint Andrew’s Abbey in Valyermo, California.

I also have curated some resources for Group Lectio Divina. If you would like these resources for use in your own church or small group, drop me and an email and I’ll get them off to you. lisa@dailypax.com

I hope you are having a fruitful Lent.

~ lisa

In my work as a Spiritual Director, people come to me with many misconceptions about God and Spiritual Growth. I’ll leave the misconceptions about God for another day, but I thought I’d set my pen to dispelling a few misconceptions about Spiritual Growth. I doing so, I hope you will try something new this week, make a small step towards greater Self-Knowledge. It is important to discuss our misconceptions, because many times they prevent us from even trying to grow.

1. I don’t have the time to work on this.

It isn’t about having time, it’s about making a commitment. Anything important is worth your time. At the very least 20 – 30 minutes a day in reflection allows space for the Holy Spirit to move. That is the point of many of Spiritual exercises – space, and pause. All with the goal of bringing something new to your heart and mind. One quick practice I have found helpful is the Centering Prayer; a fantastic method of being still, even if you have a limited amount of time. I have taught and written extensively about the Centering Prayer. Here is some more information that you might find helpful. It is a simple and ancient practice, and “Yes, there’s an app for that.”

2. It isn’t for everyone.

It is for everyone. It is often said, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” There are tools, books, systems, and methods that have stood the test of time. There are numerous resources that can be a benefit to anyone, at any point on their journey. The key is just to begin. Our lives are out of balance, seriously. We pride ourselves on how much information we can acquire, and spend countless hours, money and thoughts on our physical health. When do we give any attention to our souls? Once a week at church, if we attend. A moment to pray when something twinges at our insides. Being a Christian isn’t merely about the security of our salvation, that is the by-product. The whole point of the Christian life is to be made over into the image of Christ. To become like him more and more every day. This is for everyone.

3. It’s too difficult.

It feels difficult if you think YOU are the one responsible for your growth. Spiritual Growth is the unique work of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is the active agent of our faith, and, I feel, the most neglected member of the Trinity. He is the one Christ promised would be sent to us as the Comforter, a helper, who is tasked with teaching us all things and bringing to remembrance all that Christ taught. We are to cooperate with the Holy Spirit. You will be surprised at what will happen if you seek growth, and trust that the Holy Spirit will bring it to pass. In our separation from God we function as independent agents, but it was never intended to be so. We were created for dependence and our soul craves it.

In a few weeks, I will be launching my first online course. The focus will be on experiencing God through a greater awareness of one’s self. It is material I’ve used in many of my in-person courses and retreats. I’m thrilled to be offering it online. Subscribe to our mailing list to received more information as it becomes available.

Find PEACE, Grow Spiritually,

~ lisa

Observed the second Monday of January, National Clean Off Your Desk Day gives you an opportunity to begin the new year with a clean and organized workspace. Promoters insist that “Having your workspace uncluttered, organized, refreshed and clean will help you work more efficiently and give you a sense of serenity.”

My desk is always a mess, yet, I know where things are. I have piles for different types of work that is grouped by theme; a pile for bills, a pile for taxes, a pile for things to read … so that when I have to deal with an issue, I know which pile to go to. A whole day to clean things off, well … that takes time, and besides I’m proud to boast I have a high “clutter tolerance.”

Although I CAN work this way, I know it isn’t best. When I do take the time to organize my desk, pick up the trash, and move the piles into folders or file drawers it does make things easier. I hate to admit it; but the clutter does impair my productivity.

My soul is the same way; over time, my inner space gets cluttered with unfinished thoughts and situations. Emotional piles of stuff laying all around. I can push through, insisting I’m fine, but this never leads to serenity. No, just like I must take time to clean off my workspace, I need to take time clean up my inner space, to think on things, journal about my feelings, and find some closure or direction.

I have discovered that I don’t have a high “emotional clutter tolerance.” I need regular times of retreat to sort through my internal piles of stuff. In the solitude, I am able to move forward through my inner untidiness.

I use a visual exercise for this type of uncluttering. It’s called “Reflection – Organizing the Past Year” Designed for a retreat, I’ve modified it for use during a simple one-hour time of reflection. As you work the exercise you will create a tangible representation of the past year, getting to organize the piles of your own emotional stuff. I’d love to share it with you. Subscribe to my site by clicking here, and I’ll send it over.

So, my friends, here’s to a new year, full of fresh beginnings. Take the time not only to clean up your workspace but more importantly, make time to uncluttered your heart too.

PAX

~ lisa