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Threadbare Words – LOVE

Posted on by Lisa Marion

My earliest memory of the word LOVE, is listening to my mother sing along with singer/song writer, Jackie DeShannon. “What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.”

This song, released in the mid-60s, was a plea for something that was missing in the culture –love. The United States had just become involved in the Vietnam War, then Robert Kennedy was assassinated. This song became a sort of audio vigil for a country shaken by political violence. A Los Angeles radio station played the song again and again for over 24 hours. It was an old-school “social media” instrument that pulled a mourning country together.

That tragedy, and a whole generation, confronted our country for its lack of love. I believe we still need to be confronted for our lack of love, because the whole world is crying out for want of it!

Not the mushy, emotional, thing we think is love. The thing that demands, “Be this way, or that way. Be what I need, so I can love you.” No, what the world needs is real love, love that has no demands, makes no claims, and is marked by an outward focus.

The meaning of real love, or agapé, as the Greeks called it, encompasses the attributes of acceptance, equality, tolerance, and respect, yet is uniquely focused on the other. Love does not demand these things for itself, it extends them to the other. In its highest expression, true love is selfless love.

Thinking more about the needs of the other person elicits a change in me. As I begin to release my expectations of who the other person should be, accepting them as they are, I am able to really love them.

After all, this is how I want to be loved, as I am. Isn’t this the way God loves us? With. Out. Condition.

Yes, we should always strive to be the best version of ourselves, but love needs to be expressed along that process. The greatest gift you can give someone is to love them as they are, not as you think they should be.

Everyone loses as we continue to tout the importance of personal preferences, and promote the good of the individual, over the good of the whole.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. But love that is extended, through acceptance, equality, tolerance, and respect. And this love is not just for some, but for everyone.

Threadbare Words is a series of pieces exploring thin, worn-out words. The idea is to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.


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Threadbare Words – FAITH

Posted on by Lisa Marion

It’s no wonder this word is ambiguous for us today. Once, if you had a faith, you were different, you stood out. Now everyone has a “faith.” I was recently contending with an atheist, (as I enjoy doing) and when I pressed him on some of his vaguer reasons for choosing NOT believing in God, he said, “Well, you know, somethings require a bit of faith.” Yes, I suppose they do.

As I look at a dictionary definition I read: faith 1) an institution to express belief in a divine power, 2) a strong belief in a supernatural power, or powers that control human nature.

Not sure that faith is believing in a power that can control human nature, that kind of negates free-will, but I digress.

So, faith, with a capital F, as in “I’m a Christian” or “I’m a Muslim.” Easy, Faith is an identifier, connecting one with an institution. I think it’s this second part of the definition that we’re after, faith as a “strong belief in a divine power. A divine power that is trustworthy, firm, secure, stable, and certain.

As I’ve spent time contemplating this word, I realize faith, that is a “strong belief” in a divine power, resides in two places. It resides comfortably in my soul, an anchor for me when times are hard. There is an element of trust in this aspect of faith. It is based on my experience with God, and my knowledge of who He is.

“I trust God to bring about a good result, because He has before.”

I feel an emotional sigh almost. The comfort of being dependent on someone stronger than myself, a divine power.

But it has been my experience that faith must also reside in the WILL. There is an element of intellectual ascent that must be present, I must decide to trust. This trust is also based on my experience and knowledge of God, but it does not rest on my feelings.

There are situations where my feelings have betrayed me, or have not been present. In these situations, I must say “I decide to trust that God will help me through this, although there are no signs that this is actually true, yet will I set my mind to believe that I will not be overcome.”

My mind leads, my heart follows.

I thank God for the times I feel uplifted in my trust, and I thank God for the times when I don’t. God’s faithfulness doesn’t depend on my feelings or my thoughts. He is always faithful, for He cannot deny who He is.  And it is in this truth that my faith is grounded.

I encourage you to examine your own faith in God. Does it reside in both your heart and in your mind? Can you join your voice to the psalmist’s?

“Nevertheless, though I am sometimes afraid, yet I will put my trust in Thee.” Ps 56:3

In 2010, I struggled with this issue of deciding to trust. I wrote a longer piece that appeared in our faith community magazine. You may read it here. https://dailypax.com/deciding-to-trust/

Threadbare Words is a series of pieces exploring thin, worn-out words. The idea is to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.


Threadbare Words – Integrity

Posted on by Lisa Marion

Integrity is both a “now and ongoing” kind of thing. Something that we should strive for NOW, and something that is part of our sanctification. 

I think we’d all have the desire the live a life of integrity, even those on the fringe of our culture. But this idea seems ambiguous at times, and judgmental at other times. What does it really mean, to live a life of integrity? Walking the Talk? Being morally upright? Or just right?

If your goal is just to be right, and feel right – go for it. True integrity involves more than this. It encompasses both moral soundness and innocence.

I remember parenting during those lovely teen years. Oh, the struggles I had with my children. Their rebellion and disrespect touched broken places in me. My pain was activated, and I lashed and behaved very poorly, hardly living a living a life of integrity. My goal was NOT to be innocence. I was right and I wanted to win!

My husband would ask me, “Why do you fight with them? You don’t need to take their behavior personal.”

Don’t need to take it personal? Wait, wasn’t it personal? Felt personal to me! It was a stressful season, and my anger and furious raging made an already bad season, worse!

Exasperated, I realized that the answer lay with me. I remember God telling me, that the situation would never get better, until ONE person STOPED. And since I was the adult, I was chosen … To. Stop. Fighting. A simple answer to a complex situation.

Interesting that the word “simplicity” is found within the definitions of the term Integrity. Moral soundness, an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality, wanting nothing. Wholeness, simplicity.

In this unsettled world, many of us are not behaving with integrity. Let’s admit it – life is complex, and nuanced. The “old school” right and wrong don’t appear to apply anymore. We are all so very attached to our opinions, we treat them as truth. Behaving with integrity sets us apart from the world. The goal of integrity is not to be “right,” the goal is to be like Him.

Here it is in the words of Isaiah: “Listen to me, you who pursue integrity, who seek God – consider the rock you were hewn from, the quarry from which you were cut.”

WHO is the rock we were hewn from? Christ. He set the example for us! He was kind, forgiving, and always 100% present to each person He spent time with. He was extremely gentle with those living in the lowest ranks of their community, and patient with those who had deep questions and those who held conflicting viewpoints. The only people He treated harshly and judged, were the religious leaders who were misusing their power and authority.

Integrity, is more than being right, it is remembering the example of Christ. Our goal is to emulate that example, remembering the Rock we were hewn from, and the Quarry from which we were cut.

Threadbare Words is a series of pieces exploring thin, worn-out words. The idea is to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.


Threadbare Words – BLESSED

Posted on by Lisa Marion

What is it about this idea or word? For many, the use of the word BLESSED, scratches someplace inside. I’ve spent some time this weekend reading and contemplating why the phenomenon exists, and why many of us struggle when we hear others use the term.

Maybe it’s because it sounds like bragging? Or that it implies that an abundance of material possessions is a measure of God’s favor, and by extension, a scarcity in material possessions a measure of God’s … non-favor … hummm. It gets a little confusing and the logic breaks down.

I think when people say they’re BLESSED, they really mean they feel good.

“I’m blessed at my job.” Means, “I like my job”
“My children are a blessing to me.” Means, “My kid is doing well in school.”
“God blessed me this week.” Means, “I have an abundance of money or things”

Saying “I’m BLESSED,” is a way to say, “I’m happy,” or “I feel good.” But these are modern ideas of being BLESSED don’t really match the concept of BLESSED in the Bible. I’m not really sure that “good feelings” came into play much.

Abraham, was BLESSED! And in Him all nations were/are blessed! Not because he had great wealth, or even wisdom, but because although his marriage was childless, God would bring about the promise of a great number of decedents. Yet, he experienced many struggles, and I’m sure didn’t “feel” happy most of his life.

Jacob, was BLESSED! Because of his diligence in work and planning, his household expanded. Even to the point of flowing over to his extended family and neighbors. An abundance of material possessions, but Jacob’s own life was full of struggles, and frustrations. Exiled, he lived in fear for years. And there was a lot of strife within his large family.

Mary, was BLESSED! The only one in Scripture to claim blessedness for herself. “All generations will call me blessed.” Chosen to bear God’s Son, but oh, the sorrow and deep anguish. A mother’s deepest sadness, to watch her child die.

Jesus taught about real BLESSEDNESS. He tells us what type of people ARE blessed, and what is the highest best in the human condition.

Blessed are the poor in Spirit, those that mourn, and the meek.
Blessed are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness.
Blessed are the merciful, pure in heart, the peacemakers, and
Blessed are those that are persecuted for righteousness sake.

Wow, doesn’t talk about material possessions as a demonstration of God’s favor, does it? Clearly, being BLESSED has nothing to do with feeling happy.

I struggled in a troubled marriage for several years. Someone (trying to encourage me) said to me, “Don’t you think God wants you to be happy?” I really don’t think God is concerned with my happiness. God is more concerned that I do what is right, and live my life with a clear conscience.

Being BLESSED is:
Having your Hope in eternal things,
Allowing the Truth to be a real comfort to you,
Understanding and practicing the reciprocal nature of Mercy,
Experiencing God, and living a life that demonstrates that relationship.

Next time you’re tempted to say you’re blessed, try saying what you really mean. Say, that you’re happy, or you feel good, or you’re thankful.

Material possessions will come and go. Good times will come and go. The ground of our “blessedness” is not tied to these things, the ground of our “blessedness” is tied to God.

Threadbare Words is a series of pieces exploring thin, worn-out words. The idea is to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.


Threadbare Words – HOPE

Posted on by Lisa Marion

We don’t really use this word – HOPE – too much, anymore. I mean, we might hope to get into this school, or hope we land that job, or hope our health improves, or hope we meet that perfect person.

But the idea of real HOPE (a noun) is not something we think about, until we “need it.”

We’re relatively comfortable now, advancements in modern technology have eliminated most sources of suffering.

  • If I’m cold, I turn on the heat.
  • If I’m hungry, I head to the fridge.
  • If I’m sad, I take a pill.
  • If I’m lonely, I check my new feed … again.

But when my world is hit with something I can’t “fix,” then I call to mind this idea of HOPE.

I was forced to think about this concept when my teenage daughter was almost killed in a car accident. So many things were outside my control. Well, actually everything was outside my control, expect me. That first lonely night I sat at her bedside begging God to let her live. But in a all-too-familiar conversation, I knew that God owed me nothing. I also knew that preserving her life was not the measure of His love for me. God let’s those He loves die everyday.

I learned this watching my mother die, now I had to revisit it – this persistent concept of “letting go.” It is an irritating and aggravating concept, and one that does not go away.

HOPE, is the reality, that no matter what happens to me, or those I love … there is something more waiting for me and them.

Something that will not disappoint me, something that is true. A place where there will be no more crying or fretting or illness or sorrow. A place where all will be well.

I do not say this flippantly, as I have experienced many sorrows, and many losses. Through these experiences I have been confronted with the truth, that, no matter what happens while I live, I will not be overcome.

I may not get what I pray for, but I will not be overcome. Not an idea that makes me happy-clappy, but this is HOPE, the anchor of my soul.

HOPE is a thing, a noun. It is more than a feeling or an expectation. HOPE is a reality.

Threadbare Words is a series of pieces exploring thin, worn-out words. The idea is to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.


Want a stronger faith? There’s no app for that!

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I remember after speaking at a women’s event, a gal approached me and thanked me for my time.

“I wish I had your faith.” She said.

I smiled and I told her,

“Growing in your faith takes more than wishing.”  

I’ve been working on strengthening my faith for a long time. It is not a quick process. It isn’t difficult, but it takes work. Unlike most of our lives today, you cannot get the most recent app and begin the process.

Thankfully there are others who have already journeyed this path, and have left us breadcrumbs along the way.

I’ve recently shared many of my thoughts in my April, A to Z of Spiritual Growth.

Summarized, the two main elements of Spiritual growth are Self-Knowledge and the work of the Holy Spirit. Self-Knowledge is the starting point, because that is where the work is done, inside oneself. Paul prays for this inner work as he encourages new believers in Ephesus,

“God may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being …”

That “inner being” is really our souls. There are so many things that hide that “inner being.” That part of us that the Holy Spirit wants to reach, and teach.

My mother’s death motivated me to begin this work. I was terrified. I’m thankful I wasn’t alone as I turned inward. On the journey, I found the breadcrumbs left by others. Their experiences provided just what I needed.

I know you have questions that you have not found the answers for. How do I know? Because I did too. You don’t need to struggle on this journey alone.

Visit my page on Spiritual Direction. It might be the thing you need to discover who you are, and how God wants to help you find the answers to the questions you have.

 

Threadbare Words

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I don’t know about you, but I think we overuse many “spiritual words.” Words like HOLY, JOY, or BLESSED.

In attempts to demonstrate our faith, we’ve depended on spiritual jargon to tell who we are and what we believe.

With overuse, so many of those words have lost their power, and honestly, most people don’t really know what they mean anymore.

In May, I’d like to take those thin, worn-out words and see if we can put new flesh on them.

I want to examine their real meaning, consider their overuse and, finally take a fresh look at them through the filter of a 21st century mind to discern if they’re still relevant.

I think I’ll begin with the word HOPE.

Email me a word you’d like me to explore! Or jump on over to my Facebook page and join the conversation: www.facebook.com/dailyPAX

When Can I Stop Trying to be Perfect?

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I’m so hard on myself. I’ve always struggled with the idea that I must be perfect. It’s partly from my childhood, but partly just who I am. Others can make mistakes, but I cannot. If people could hear the negative self-talk that goes on in my head – they’d be shocked.

I seem to have a difficult time accepting God’s love, I guess it’s because I don’t feel I’ve earned it. Have you felt this way? It’s like I have this idea of who I think I’m supposed to be, the perfect LISA. I’ve learned, that as I attempt to be the perfect LISA, I am missing out on the real LISA. My ideas of perfection get in the way of knowing who I really am.

Most of us carry around a whole bunch of expectations on ourselves. We believe the lies we’ve been told about who we are. We accept without examination the labels that others have placed on us.

How refreshing would it be to rid yourself of these obstacles to true Self-Knowledge? Would you like to free yourself from the lies and labels that hold you back from experiencing God’s love, even if you aren’t sure you deserve it.

Spiritual Direction can help you shed the lies and labels. Would you like to enter into a new way of seeing yourself? Let’s begin the journey. 

Is God Really Faithful?

Posted on by Lisa Marion
My mother. Just before I was born. She was 20.

I know I write a lot about my mother, but her faith had a profound effect on me. She died of cancer when I was 28. Odd to think, I’ve lived half my life without her. She had a strong faith in God, one that I didn’t fully understand until she was gone.

While she lived, I was spoiled. I could tap into her “god-connection” anytime by simply calling her. When she died, I was forced to figure out this god-guy on my own. In one respect it was hard, and in another it was easy.

I had to apply myself. I had to ask hard questions. And I had to accept harder answers. Everything I thought I knew was challenged, and she was no longer available through a simple phone call.

In my search, something remarkable happened. As I reached out to God for answers, He reached back to me. I didn’t expect that. I figured that having a faith was like most things in my life, I’d have to depend on myself to get it accomplished. But as I opened myself up to God, He was faithful to meet me in my confusion and help me along the way.

Are you finding the answers to your questions? Are you looking for a new way to hear God. Take a look at my Resources. You might find something that will help. Drop me an email if you have something specific you’d like to discuss. Or visit my Spiritual Direction page and we can begin a discussion.

~ lisa

W is for WILLINGNESS

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I have often been asked if Spiritual Growth is really possible?

  • How do you stay motivated to grow over time?
  • How does Spiritual Growth actually occur?
  • How can I cultivate Spiritual Growth in my daily life?

The “how”s of Spiritual Growth are different for each of us, because each of us are different. What works for one, may not work for another, or it may not work – yet.

Spiritual Growth takes time and does not happen by accident. It is the process by which we move forward, gaining an ever-widening understanding of who God is, and who we are in relation to Him.

The goal of Spiritual Growth isn’t to become someone else. The goal is to become the best version of yourself. It is accomplished over time and involves patience, study, and the intentional application of what has been learned.

Yet, the real work of Spiritual Growth is done by the Holy Spirit – the active agent of any change. How He changes us is something I cannot explain. I can only tell you what has happened in my own life.

My Spiritual Growth has come about through a multitude of situations, people, and lessons I would have otherwise avoided. I have found there is an aspect of humility in Spiritual Growth that cannot be escaped. And that humility exposes our Willingness.

Willingness to let go of my opinions, of my preferences.
Willingness to move outside of what is comfortable.
Willingness to admit I don’t have all the answers.
Willingness to talk less, and listen more.
Willingness to go deep inside.
Willingness to ask hard questions.
Willingness to accept hard answers.
Willingness to suffer while striving to remain blameless.

Willingness is all that the Holy Spiritual really needs to change you. He will accomplish the mystery of the inner work; your job is to cooperate with Him.

Interested in exploring your Willingness, or lack there of?? I’m the perfect person to talk to, as I’ve struggled with that myself. Drop me an email with your thoughts.