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Epiphany – Light of the World

Posted on by dailypax

Light and goodness, direction and guidance, comfort and strength be present, be real. Be a warm babe vulnerable in my arms.

Lord I long to hold you as Mary did, to comfort you, to tighten a blanket around you, protecting your warmth from the cold night air. I long to watch your dreaming eyes flutter, to feel your relaxed, sleeping body safe in my arms. To behold the wonder of you, my saviour, contained in a precious baby.

King supreme, yet you allowed yourself to be totally dependent upon the care and well keeping of a teenage girl. Was she full of uncertainty or a naïve confidence? She alone felt your warmth mingle with hers, smelled your balmy baby-breath, enjoyed the satisfaction of being your only source of nourishment. Yet she was, alone in a strange land, among strange people – no one familiar to comfort her, to encourage her confidence.

You were present, though fully dependent upon her. A paradox that confounds me yet comforts me too. For I am Mary; struggling to be who you need me to be. Amid the chaos and confusion of life I endeavor to provide a witness to the world. I bear your image, but I am weak.

A young girl brought forth the Father’s revelation. Weak, yet in her obedience she became strong. Her “yes” became the foundation for my “yes”.

And so with arms outstretched I ask to hold the Christ Child. Yet I wonder, can I, in my weakness, hold your image with a firm gentleness in my own arms?

Will you trust me? Will you strengthen me? Will you help me be all I need to be in order to bear your image?

Roadside Memorial

Posted on by dailypax
The thin marine layer acts as filter, holding back the colors of morning. All that is left is a vacant landscape all in grey tones. A normally vibrant view is reduced to a silhouette of hills and buildings. We approach the place. A place most of us travel again and again – part of our rut. The traffic is slow and purposeful. We want to see the place. We take our time. This morning, the first day of business traffic through this thin stretch of Pacific Coast Highway.

A sudden surprise; everything is swept and clear. Expectations were to see the spot as it was; glass and shards of metal strewn around, a flicker indicating the presence of a traffic flare. But as we pass we can see no evidence of the damage done just two days earlier. If one hadn’t heard – one would never know.

Then it is seen, the humble roadside memorial. Against the city codes, it stands “permitted” today; an exception to the rules marks the spot where 3 souls were separated from their bodies.

“Too soon” some would lament … yet not, He always knew what the news would be that day. As though already published He had awareness of the headlines and the report we would hear;

    a woman in her 20s, a man in his 40s and his mother in her 60s.

Too soon? Perhaps by our standards, but the number of their days was already known to Him at their birth.

Three spots of flower-filled color, three clear, fresh candles. They pierce the grey tones of the morning and remind us to live as though this day were our last.

Trees

Posted on by dailypax

The golden trees in the southeast ridge of the retreat center are alive with deep green leaves. At first they don’t appear to be as tall as they were that autumn of my first retreat here, then I realize they’ve all been “topped.” Where once graceful tappers reached heavenward, there are flat, harsh cuts that stunt them.

A somewhat inconsistent yet frequent wind strains their branches as it gusts up and over the ridge behind them. I realize their “topping” was for protection, preventing them from growing too tall and snapping under the force of the gusts. This action by a master tree man intentionally forces new growth down lower on the tree’s trunk. The new growth providing the needed leaves to soak in the warmth of the sun, in turn strengthening the trunk of the tree.

I imagine I am like one of these trees. They teach me about my recent season of sorrow and pain. Has God indeed topped me? For my own good? Has my suffering prevented me from becoming too tall, too thin and too weak? Did I need renewed strength within me?

I sit and watch the unpredictable wind gust in and around the trees. The fresh mountain air is alive. The trees sway gracefully where the wind would take them, but they are not in danger of breaking. I yearn for that grace and welcome new  strength in places I thought I had already grown through. Thank you Lord for this vision.

Perhaps as God watches me, I already have a hint of that grace. I struggle inside and cry out to him, yet I have not broken. I bend and sway with each twist and turn of the ever changing gusts of wind in my life.

Help me Lord to be flexible and ever dependent up on you whatever you allow to befall me.

Symmetry

Posted on by dailypax

Dizzy my mind has been of late. A whirlwind of shifting thoughts and feelings.

I sit – still, yet I am not.

I feel as if all the particles that make up my body, might at any moment pull apart. Leaving where I once was a heap of the smaller pieces my body is made from.

Another voice calls to me,

Look up, see higher things. The blue of the sky the softness of the clouds.

And so I answer the call, gazing upward.

I behold beauty that only One can orchestrate, symmetry in the world around me. The trees near me are perfectly outlined by soft white clouds miles behind them. Every bump in their outline perfectly haloed as if by an aura. Each contour echoed in pattern. Yet this pattern can only be seen from exactly where I sit.

A whisper through the chaos,

I am in control. All things are ordered aright. 

Mountain Top Wisdom

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Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.

With great wisdom Aslan encourages the little girl. “Here, in my presence you will know and understand, but the air down below will become thick and confuse your mind.”

This has been my own experience, drawing away to be with God. Seeking Him, intentionally in a “thin place.” The richness of meeting him, moments of crystal clarity. Then the obligatory returning to the world.

The air does become thick – quickly. Oh the burdens of life. They make His lessons thin, elusive. This doesn’t negate the mountain top experience, it only reinforces the need for those moments and the urgency of practicing what you learn there. To live with the assurance of those things which you know to be true, to record them deeply, to know them by heart.

“Nothing else matters,” nothing else.

Hope-filled Grief

Posted on by dailypax


“For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and the with trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.” 1 Thes 4:16-18

Paraphrased: “You will see your loved one again and you will be reunited forever, Christ himself will come again. And HE will make this so.”

I was comforted, again, by this truth today at the Requiem Mass for a great lady, Catherine Wilcox. The priest, encouraged us, “Mourn and grieve, yes, but not as the world grieves.”

Christian grief is filled with hope, the aspect of mourning that eludes the world. Ours is not a wishful hope, but a certain anticipation of the fulfillment of a promise. “Wherefore comfort one another with these words.”

Make us Glad

Posted on by dailypax

“Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children.” Psalm 90:15-16

Always we have the hope that our sorrows will come to an end. The blessing of time passing. The psalmist asks that his children see God’s power. Times are difficult, but our children are watching. If we believe the things we know about God, he will redeem our affliction and allow our children to see the glory of His power.

Our responsibility is simply to be obedient and step our feet in the paths that we KNOW we must take. A difficult task? Not, if we anticipate God will redeem our suffering.

Lost Desires

Posted on by dailypax

There was a time when Christians desired eternity, perhaps because life around them was awful. Full of uncertainties, injustices, illness, hunger and disease.

Through modern technology we have erased most of these issues – and so, we have ceased to long for wholeness, the beauty of a ‘glorified’ being.

We’ve traded-in our hopes and accepted a counterfeit of life.

In exchange for a longing to return to God, we’ve become satisfied with a transient substitute – believing the lie that the things we can see, acquire and consume will satisfy, and they don’t.

We no longer anticipate the beauty that God desires to give us.