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D is for DISCERNMENT

Posted on by Lisa Marion

A foundational element in Spiritual Growth, DISCERNMENT is simply the act of listening for God’s voice. Simple, however anything BUT easy. How do you discern His voice amid the other noise? His leading? A struggle I hear about in my work as a Spiritual Director, and an issue I’ve struggled with myself.

When I first began learning about Benedictine Spirituality, I was fascinated with the idea of “listening to God with the ear of your heart.” I wasn’t exactly sure how one could do this. My life was very chaotic, and most of the time I couldn’t hear myself think, let alone discern the voice of God.

My studies kept leading me back to solitude as a way to hear God. Solitude! What a terrifying thought for an extrovert. Be quiet? On purpose? Pure torture, I thought. But the more I tried to discern God’s voice, the more I knew I would need to give this solitude stuff a try.

I knew there was a Benedictine Abbey about 45 miles south of my home, and I the monks were quiet there, so I packed myself off for self-imposed, 24-hour, period of solitude. With the simple goal of trying to discern God’s voice. To listen with the “ear of my heart.”

It was awful. After the evening prayer service, I returned to my lonely room, and quickly fell asleep. In the morning, I struggled with my foolishness in taking on this venture alone. And I was sure that I must be needed at home, surely someone needed me at home. So, I made a deal with God. “I’ll stay and read one whole gospel, all the way through, then I’m going home.” I read Luke, had lunch, and went home.

About two years later, my Spiritual Director told me about silent retreat being held at a different Abbey. It hadn’t worked for me before, but at my Director’s urging, I decided to go.

What a difference it made having someone lead me through the process. The monk was so humble, he didn’t even introduce himself. He set a schedule for us and during the course of the weekend lead us through 5 different topics all around the idea of Community. He spoke for about 15 minutes on each topic and released us to silence and solitude, to discern God’s voice in relation to topic. I was silent for a whole weekend, and it was wonderful.

When I arrived home one of my children asked, “How was all that nice silence Mommy?” As I thought, it hadn’t been silent at all. Once I started listening, God never stopped talking.

That was all I needed, a little direction, tools to help me focus myself while I sought to discern God’s voice. This retreat was transformative for me, not the first time I’d heard God’s voice, but I learned tools to aide in the discernment. There are ways to do it, and tools that can help.

I want to offer those tools to you. Making a retreat is the single most effective way to discern God’s voice! I’ve been leading retreats for over 25 years. I’m putting together some resources that will allow you to take a retreat on your own schedule, in your own home. If you’re already on my email list, you’ll be getting more information this week.

If you aren’t on my list, sign up below to get the information, when it comes available.

Join dailyPAX, find PEACE, grow SPIRITUALLY





C is for CONTEMPLATION

Posted on by Lisa Marion

From “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross, speaking about those in a deep relationship with God;

“Meditation is now useless for them, because God is conducting them along another road, which is Contemplation. It is very different from the first, for the one road belongs to discursive mediation and the other is beyond the range of the imagination and discursive reflection.”

Many people think that Meditation and Contemplation are the same thing and use the words interchangeably. Although they share similarities, they are different. They are both paths to God, but they differ in how one travels on that path.

Mediation is the work of the mind. Also called “discursive prayer,” it involves a back and forth between myself and God. It is my work, my questions, my thinking.

Contemplation is the work of the heart. Beyond discursive reflection, it involves being present to God. It is His work, His answers, His thoughts.

A few years ago, I attended at retreat on “Natural Contemplation.” At this retreat, I was introduced to many new ideas about seeking God, about listening to God, and about paying attention. About praying without words. The retreat was held in a beautiful mountain location, and the grounds offered abundant opportunities for contemplation.

I have been about this “work of the heart” since then, paying attention and seeking God’s wordless voice all around me.

I have developed an exercise that gives you guidelines to develop this type of attentiveness. It’s called “Visio Divina.” Similar to “Lectio Divina” in its movement of hearing, meditating, responding, and resting, but it utilizes the physical world as its divine text. I’d be thrilled to share it with you. Let me know by  visiting this link.

Practicing this type of Contemplation has sharpened my eyes to what God is saying – everywhere. I hope you’ll give it a try.

Tomorrow: In Spiritual Growth, D is for DISCERNMENT.

 

Click here if you missed my piece on Lectio Divina.

B is for Beginning ~ again

Posted on by Lisa Marion

We’re full of excuses. Most of them based in fear.

Fear it won’t stick.

Fear of what will be discovered.

Fear it will be too hard.

Fear that God is disappointed.

Unknowingly, we cling to deep seated misconceptions about Spiritual Growth. Most of them tied to our inability to be – perfect.

Perfection is in our DNA. We were created to be perfect; to live in a perfect environment, in a perfect relationship with God.

The Fall of humankind has ruined this perfection. And we perpetuate the situation by our ongoing participation in our own brokenness. But we still crave perfection, we know it’s the goal.

Spiritual Growth is our pathway to a restored relationship with God. Beginning again, is a part of this pathway. Beginning again is also a large part of our lives. As if, God already knew we’d need opportunities to start over. Think of it:

Mornings.

Evenings.

Seasons.

New years.

All forms of beginnings again.

Yea, you put this off. Okay, you should have stuck with it. Sure, you’re afraid of what you’ll find. And yes, you might need to start over … so what? Stop beating yourself up. The need for perfection is yours, not His. Go ahead – don’t be afraid, welcome the opportunity to Begin Again.

 

A is for ATTITUDE

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I was fortunate to have a mother who took her faith seriously, and I must confess that I took full advantage of all her hard work. As long as she was alive, I could neglect my own Spiritual Growth. If I had a question about God, I could go to her. She had the answers I yearned for. But when she died, my lifeline to God died too.

She was young, and so was I. The trauma of losing my mother, at the very time I was becoming a mother, threw me into a tailspin. She left with so many of my questions, unanswered. I felt so alone, and so stupidly ignorant of my own faith. I knew I would need answers to my questions as I entered motherhood, so I began seeking God on my own. I had no choice.

A humble change occurred in me, I transformed from an aloof, comfortably disinterested Christian, into a sponge, soaking up every bit of knowledge I could find. Her death devastated me, I was desperate, and in that desperation, God met me. I have found that when I set my heart and mind to seek Him, He delivers on his promise to be found.

Along my journey, I have discovered many people who are hesitant to pursue spiritual growth. The truth is, as long as you are alive, you are growing. The growth is either active, into the warm, likeness of Christ, or passive, further into the cold, likeness of our broken selves.

There are many misconceptions about Spiritual Growth; What it is, or isn’t? Is it even possible? And how do you maintain momentum amid the demands of life. Time is a big issue, but Spiritual Growth has two chief enemies; time and attitude.

There will never be enough time for Spiritual Growth, and time is essential. Just as a seedling needs time to sprout, pushing through the hard dirt, we need to allow our new selves time to sprout and push through our hard hearts. We must MAKE or TAKE the time to focus inwardly, intentionally, and allow growth the time it needs. It is not a quick process, but it is a process, not a destination.

Spiritual Growth also demands a specific attitude, that being – humility. I was never interested in growing spiritually until my mother died. Honestly, I didn’t think I needed to grow … but in her absence, I was faced with a choice; strike out on my own, in the ignorant confidence of my own abilities and understandings, or admit that I needed what I did not have; inner strengthening.

And what is the purpose of this inner strength? Is it merely to give us the ability to cope with what life slings at us? No, although it helps us cope with life’s issues, the real purpose of Spiritual Growth is so that we may know fully the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ, a love that truly surpasses understanding.

Spiritual Growth has been my life’s focus since my mother’s death, 30 years ago. I look back and I hardly recognize the person I was. I learned in a very dark season, that you must take your own spiritual growth seriously, for no one can do it for you. God does not want to love us through another person, he desires an intimacy with each of us, an intimacy that can only be developed over time.

Join me, as I share what I have learned.

How is Your Lent Going?

Posted on by Lisa Marion

Just three weeks into our 40 days and I’m already feeling behind. Well, regardless, I’m thankful for the pause this season offers me.

For the last 5 years I have made a private retreat during Lent. This year I find myself with the Holy Cross Sisters. They have a lovely convent and retreat house in Ventura, California. You can find a link to their Siena Prayer Center on my resources page. 

Once a week one of the sisters invite the community to practice Centering Prayer and Lectio Divina, I was fortunate enough to have joined them a few nights ago.

If you’ve never practiced the Centering Prayer, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is similar to the eastern practice of meditation, except where the eastern practice is to become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on nothing but your breathing, the Christian tradition, helps you become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on being in God’s presence.

So often in our prayers we ask God to be with us. When truly, he is always with us, we just forget, or we don’t “feel” his presence. The Centering Prayer gives you an opportunity to practice your awareness of his presence. If you missed my post about it, you can read it here.

The Holy Cross Sisters take this a step further and follow their Centering Prayer practice with a group session of Lectio Divina. (Latin for “Divine Reading”) I enjoy group Lectio because I am able to listen to how God uses the same passage to meet numerous people right where they are, and last week was no different. Sr. Gloria Valdovinos skillfully lead us through group Lectio with the passage of the Prodigal Son.

The practice of Lectio Divina is a simple, intentional reading of a sacred passage. Traditionally there are four stages: Lectio, Meditatio, Oratio, and Contemplatio. In English, you might say: Reading, Ruminating, Response, and Rest.

For me there is a physical movement of the passage; it enters into my being through my eyes, LECTIO – reading. It moves into my mind for mediation – MEDITATIO. God allows something in the passage to touch my life, and I develop a verbal response to the passage, ORATIO – prayer. Finally, I give the passage rest in my heart, CONTEPLATIO – contemplation.

An ancient practice, Lectio Divina has its roots in the Benedictine tradition. Although practiced by the Holy Cross Sisters as a group exercise, it is usually worked as an individual spiritual practice.

I thought during Lent you might be interested in learning more about it and giving it a try, so I’ve put together some information on it. Click here and I’ll send it off to you. The information is borrowed, with permission from Fr. Luke Dysinger, OSB, of Saint Andrew’s Abbey in Valyermo, California.

I also have curated some resources for Group Lectio Divina. If you would like these resources for use in your own church or small group, drop me and an email and I’ll get them off to you. lisa@dailypax.com

I hope you are having a fruitful Lent.

~ lisa

 

Stop Dismissing Your Struggles

Posted on by Lisa Marion

In my work as a Spiritual Director, I am trusted with the details of people’s struggles. I am often surprised when I hear people dismiss their struggles by saying:

“Oh, first world problems.”

I’m not sure why this term applies. I mean, okay, really if you’re just complaining about something trivial, I get it. But, often there is more going on beneath the surface and it’s really best not to dismiss it.

Third world people may struggle for the want of clean water or a simple medication to fight an infection. First world people may struggle to find balance with a corporate work load, to be attentive to their family or friends.

On a scale where, one suffering is compared to another suffering, there is a level of severity that can be measured, yet stripped of this measure BOTH struggles touch something internally. Both struggles have value in their context. Both struggles are catalysts for seeking and trusting God.

Let’s compare two Gospel stories where Christ encounters people with struggles: the woman with the issue of blood, and the rich young ruler. These could be seen as third world, and first world, problems.

The woman is weak and an outcast. Anyone who has contact with her becomes “unclean.” Her chronic bleeding isolates her from community life and worship.

The rich young ruler, on the other hand, follows the Law and lives in comfort. Yet, he is uncertain that his life choices will bring about eternal life.

Her plea to Christ, “My life is unbearable! Heal me!”

His plea to Christ, “My life is unbearable! Give me assurance of eternal life!”

What is Christ’s response to the woman? He commends her courage and the risks she took in seeking an answer to her struggle. Then Christ heals her. “My daughter, your faith has restored you to health, go in peace.”

What is Christ’s response to the rich young man? Does he judge him and chastise his struggle? “Young man, get over it! First world problems! Suck it up and be grateful? You know I just healed a woman in the next town who has been bleeding for 12 years. Who are you to complain and moan about your self-centered, inner yearnings for the assurance of your salvation?”

No, Christ does not minimize or pass judgment on the young man’s struggle. He does not compare the severity of his pain to the pain of others. No, Christ meets this young man where he finds him. He treats him with dignity and validates his pain. Then, in love, Christ provides an answer to the young man’s struggle. Perhaps not the answer he was hoping for, but an answer none the less.

We all hurt the same. If you dismiss your pain, you also dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit to work in it, to strengthen you internally. Don’t wallow in self-pity, allow God to use whatever struggle you have to help you understand yourself and move you forward on your journey.

We are eternal beings working out eternal longings. In this life, the irritating agent of our struggles maybe as different as the desire for clean water, or the desire for confidence in life choices, but all your struggles will work for your good, if you let them.

Do you need some help moving past a struggle? Spiritual Direction can help with this movement. Click here to learn more about Spiritual Direction and how it can help you. 

 

Finding PEACE When Someone Dies

Posted on by Lisa Marion

As always, off-the-cuff and unedited, my thoughts on finding PEACE !!!

This question in my PEACE challenge addresses the issue of finding PEACE when someone has died. So I decided to answer this question on location – at my mother’s grave. It was her birthday Saturday, she would have been 78.

We’ve got several more weeks in February – send me your questions about finding PEACE.

Spiritual Growth – Common Misunderstandings

Posted on by Lisa Marion

In my work as a Spiritual Director, people come to me with many misconceptions about God and Spiritual Growth. I’ll leave the misconceptions about God for another day, but I thought I’d set my pen to dispelling a few misconceptions about Spiritual Growth. I doing so, I hope you will try something new this week, make a small step towards greater Self-Knowledge. It is important to discuss our misconceptions, because many times they prevent us from even trying to grow.

1. I don’t have the time to work on this.

It isn’t about having time, it’s about making a commitment. Anything important is worth your time. At the very least 20 – 30 minutes a day in reflection allows space for the Holy Spirit to move. That is the point of many of Spiritual exercises – space, and pause. All with the goal of bringing something new to your heart and mind. One quick practice I have found helpful is the Centering Prayer; a fantastic method of being still, even if you have a limited amount of time. I have taught and written extensively about the Centering Prayer. Here is some more information that you might find helpful. It is a simple and ancient practice, and “Yes, there’s an app for that.”

2. It isn’t for everyone.

It is for everyone. It is often said, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” There are tools, books, systems, and methods that have stood the test of time. There are numerous resources that can be a benefit to anyone, at any point on their journey. The key is just to begin. Our lives are out of balance, seriously. We pride ourselves on how much information we can acquire, and spend countless hours, money and thoughts on our physical health. When do we give any attention to our souls? Once a week at church, if we attend. A moment to pray when something twinges at our insides. Being a Christian isn’t merely about the security of our salvation, that is the by-product. The whole point of the Christian life is to be made over into the image of Christ. To become like him more and more every day. This is for everyone.

3. It’s too difficult.

It feels difficult if you think YOU are the one responsible for your growth. Spiritual Growth is the unique work of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is the active agent of our faith, and, I feel, the most neglected member of the Trinity. He is the one Christ promised would be sent to us as the Comforter, a helper, who is tasked with teaching us all things and bringing to remembrance all that Christ taught. We are to cooperate with the Holy Spirit. You will be surprised at what will happen if you seek growth, and trust that the Holy Spirit will bring it to pass. In our separation from God we function as independent agents, but it was never intended to be so. We were created for dependence and our soul craves it.

In a few weeks, I will be launching my first online course. The focus will be on experiencing God through a greater awareness of one’s self. It is material I’ve used in many of my in-person courses and retreats. I’m thrilled to be offering it online. Subscribe to our mailing list to received more information as it becomes available.

Find PEACE, Grow Spiritually,

~ lisa