Blog

H is for HUMILITY

Posted on by Lisa Marion

When I selected HUMILITY as my “H” in this A to Z Blog Challenge, I didn’t realize that it would coincided with Palm Sunday, the Sunday before Easter. At my church the service is full of readings, music, and images of a humble man, whose obedience leads him to His death. A behavior we’re asked to imitate in our daily lives.

As I sit with my thoughts about humility, I regret that I’m attempting to write about it. I don’t even know where to begin to explain the role humility plays in Spiritual Growth, but it does play a role, an all-encompassing one.

Saint Benedict probably gave us the most useful information about humility. In the seventh chapter of his famous guide for community life, “The Rule,” he says that the ascent into humility is like the movement through 12 rungs on a ladder.

In his teaching, the rungs resonate with ideas like: mindfulness, submission, detachment, confession, contentment, disentanglement, and unconditional trust.

This last one sticks with me. I think humility is more about trust, than anything else.

Even though Christ asked that God find another solution for the issue at hand, he accepts humbly, the consequences, set in motion by the actions of selfish men. He did so with full trust that God would bring something good from it. And He did.

It follows then, that as I attempt to imitate Christ’s humility, I must trust that God will bring good from my surrender. My trust in God is demonstrated by my humility.

Humility by letting go of my rights.

Humility by letting go of my desires.

Humility by letting go of my plans.

Humility by letting go of my preferences.

Humility by letting go of my opinions.

Humility by letting go of my demands.

Humility by letting go of my expectations.

As I stop insisting things go my way, I am saying to God, “I believe that you will work all things for my good.” Easy to do? No.

But be encouraged, growing in humility is part of the ongoing process of Spiritual Growth. It is moving forward, step-by-step, in the trust that I will be okay, no matter what happens to me.

 

G is for Germinating

Posted on by Lisa Marion

Time, time, time … it’s all about time.

I remember as a kid, being fascinated by those time-lapse movies of a seedling pushing up through the dirt, their tender leaves stretching to the sun! I mean, you’d never be able to sit and actually watch that growth happen the way the camera can catch it.

Spiritual Growth is the same way. You can’t really see it happening in real-time, but growth is occurring nonetheless.

What happens during that season called “germinating”? Turns out that seeds are their own energy source, like a plant embryo. They hold on to their energy until water, oxygen, soil, and an ideal temperature all come into play, causing growth to begin.

Seems to me this works the same in Spiritual Growth. I believe we already have within us that embryo of who we are, and we need the outside elements to help move us forward in our own growth. I think our elements are a little different:

Water – the living water that Christ offers, refreshing and restful

Oxygen – the movement of the Holy Spirit, leading and corrective

Soil – the foundation of God’s Word, enduring and changeless, and

Temperature – the warmth provided by the love and companionship of other people in our lives.

My beloved Fr. Francis once told me, “It takes us a long time to become the person God sees.” This is the process of human germinating. God has that time-lapse vision of us. Outside of our time, he has already watched us grow and become fully ourselves. As far as He is concerned, it’s already happened.

Don’t be discourage in times where no growth is obvious. Trust the process, and continue surrounding yourself with the elements you need; Christ, the Spirit, God’s Word, and the people that provide you with the warmth required for your growth.

Join dailyPAX, find PEACE, grow SPIRITUALLY





F is for Fruit (of the Spirit)

Posted on by Lisa Marion

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

The hallmarks of Christianity, and the characteristics that should set us apart. They are seeds within us that grow over time, transforming us further into the image of Christ, the ultimate goal of Spiritual Growth.

The list of the Fruit of the Spirit is found in Galatians 5:22-23. The word in the New Testament’s original language is, karpos; fruit, as in the fruit of a tree. These fruits are produced internally and are visible to others. These fruits are given to you, so that you can grow in the characteristics of Christ. So that you are able to do the things you should do as a Christian. So that through you, others can see what Christ is like. And these fruits are among the few things that you can pray for, with full assurance, that you WILL receive them.

I have to tell a story on myself, how the Fruit of the Spirit showed up in an ugly encounter. I was in Denver, getting ready to conduct a retreat. I had to pick someone up at the airport. When I arrived, I was lucky to find a spot in the short-term parking spot right in front. I dashed in, having to turn quickly, squeezing into the spot, facing the other way. My sudden and unexpected movement surprised the parking lot attendant. As I got out of the car he began yelling at, me. That I was driving dangerously … I told him I was sorry that I surprised him, and insisted I was not driving dangerously. He proceeded to scold me with colorful, and unnecessary language, accusing me of almost running him over.

I reached for his badge to get his name, I told him I was going to report him for speaking inappropriately to me. He mistook my reach as an attempt to touch him, which sent him further into a rage. I became angrier and left in a huff, showing my displeasure at his behavior.

This encounter really upset me. I tried to compose myself, as I waited for my friend’s flight. Then I heard that still, small voice. “Well, that’s a nice – Christian lady – preparing to lead a retreat. You can’t even own your part of that conflict. Go back and apologize to the man.” Yes, God often talks to me this way, it’s irritating sometimes. So, I headed back to the parking lot. He saw me coming and begin rantings began before I could speak. I interrupted him and said kindly, “I’m sorry I surprised you. I did not intend to cause you any harm. Will you forgive me?”

He was astonished, and meekly accepted my apology while offering me one in exchange.

Can you see the Fruit at work here? Kindness, Gentleness, and SELF-CONTROL. A thankless job, being a parking lot attendant at a large airport. It had probably been years since anyone extended him any kindness. I’m sure he went home and told his wife all about the crazy lady that almost ran him over, then apologized.

A long time ago, someone told me you could tell a Christian by the fruit they bear. She said “Christians bear other Christians.”

She was wrong. You can tell a Christian by the fruit they bear, but the fruit they bear is love, joy, peace …

If you’re enjoying my A to Z of Spiritual Growth, sign up below to join the growing dailyPAX community!





Up tomorrow: in Spiritual Growth; G is for GERMINATING

 

E is for EXERCISE

Posted on by Lisa Marion

That dreaded word: exercise. And in the Spiritual Realm … really?

It is a well-known fact that if you want to improve in anything, you must submit to exercises. Spiritual improvement is no different.

The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola are perhaps the most well-known series of exercises. Ancient in their origin, they are still being utilized by Spiritual Directors today, including myself.

I love all Spiritual Exercises. They push me out of my comfort zone, challenge my faith, and cause me to look at things in a different way. Spiritual Exercises have helped me know myself, create new habits, and heal old wounds. Most importantly, regular practice of Spiritual Exercises help me strengthen my faith, so I am better equipped for hardships. And I’ve had my share.

The whole purpose of exercising Spiritually  is to create a space for interior work to be done; giving you the opportunity to challenge what you know and advance in Spiritual Growth.

I have shared several Spiritual Exercises on my blog.

The Centering Prayer – which provides a regular method for being still in God’s presence

Lectio Divina – the ancient monastic practice of the intentional reading of Scripture,

Visio Divina – similar to Lectio Divina, yet using nature as the text, and

Developing a Rule of Life –  a method for organizing your Spiritual goals.

 

 

D is for DISCERNMENT

Posted on by Lisa Marion

A foundational element in Spiritual Growth, DISCERNMENT is simply the act of listening for God’s voice. Simple, however anything BUT easy. How do you discern His voice amid the other noise? His leading? A struggle I hear about in my work as a Spiritual Director, and an issue I’ve struggled with myself.

When I first began learning about Benedictine Spirituality, I was fascinated with the idea of “listening to God with the ear of your heart.” I wasn’t exactly sure how one could do this. My life was very chaotic, and most of the time I couldn’t hear myself think, let alone discern the voice of God.

My studies kept leading me back to solitude as a way to hear God. Solitude! What a terrifying thought for an extrovert. Be quiet? On purpose? Pure torture, I thought. But the more I tried to discern God’s voice, the more I knew I would need to give this solitude stuff a try.

I knew there was a Benedictine Abbey about 45 miles south of my home, and I the monks were quiet there, so I packed myself off for self-imposed, 24-hour, period of solitude. With the simple goal of trying to discern God’s voice. To listen with the “ear of my heart.”

It was awful. After the evening prayer service, I returned to my lonely room, and quickly fell asleep. In the morning, I struggled with my foolishness in taking on this venture alone. And I was sure that I must be needed at home, surely someone needed me at home. So, I made a deal with God. “I’ll stay and read one whole gospel, all the way through, then I’m going home.” I read Luke, had lunch, and went home.

About two years later, my Spiritual Director told me about silent retreat being held at a different Abbey. It hadn’t worked for me before, but at my Director’s urging, I decided to go.

What a difference it made having someone lead me through the process. The monk was so humble, he didn’t even introduce himself. He set a schedule for us and during the course of the weekend lead us through 5 different topics all around the idea of Community. He spoke for about 15 minutes on each topic and released us to silence and solitude, to discern God’s voice in relation to topic. I was silent for a whole weekend, and it was wonderful.

When I arrived home one of my children asked, “How was all that nice silence Mommy?” As I thought, it hadn’t been silent at all. Once I started listening, God never stopped talking.

That was all I needed, a little direction, tools to help me focus myself while I sought to discern God’s voice. This retreat was transformative for me, not the first time I’d heard God’s voice, but I learned tools to aide in the discernment. There are ways to do it, and tools that can help.

I want to offer those tools to you. Making a retreat is the single most effective way to discern God’s voice! I’ve been leading retreats for over 25 years. I’m putting together some resources that will allow you to take a retreat on your own schedule, in your own home. If you’re already on my email list, you’ll be getting more information this week.

If you aren’t on my list, sign up below to get the information, when it comes available.

Join dailyPAX, find PEACE, grow SPIRITUALLY





C is for CONTEMPLATION

Posted on by Lisa Marion

From “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross, speaking about those in a deep relationship with God;

“Meditation is now useless for them, because God is conducting them along another road, which is Contemplation. It is very different from the first, for the one road belongs to discursive mediation and the other is beyond the range of the imagination and discursive reflection.”

Many people think that Meditation and Contemplation are the same thing and use the words interchangeably. Although they share similarities, they are different. They are both paths to God, but they differ in how one travels on that path.

Mediation is the work of the mind. Also called “discursive prayer,” it involves a back and forth between myself and God. It is my work, my questions, my thinking.

Contemplation is the work of the heart. Beyond discursive reflection, it involves being present to God. It is His work, His answers, His thoughts.

A few years ago, I attended at retreat on “Natural Contemplation.” At this retreat, I was introduced to many new ideas about seeking God, about listening to God, and about paying attention. About praying without words. The retreat was held in a beautiful mountain location, and the grounds offered abundant opportunities for contemplation.

I have been about this “work of the heart” since then, paying attention and seeking God’s wordless voice all around me.

I have developed an exercise that gives you guidelines to develop this type of attentiveness. It’s called “Visio Divina.” Similar to “Lectio Divina” in its movement of hearing, meditating, responding, and resting, but it utilizes the physical world as its divine text. I’d be thrilled to share it with you. Let me know by  visiting this link.

Practicing this type of Contemplation has sharpened my eyes to what God is saying – everywhere. I hope you’ll give it a try.

Tomorrow: In Spiritual Growth, D is for DISCERNMENT.

 

Click here if you missed my piece on Lectio Divina.

B is for Beginning ~ again

Posted on by Lisa Marion

We’re full of excuses. Most of them based in fear.

Fear it won’t stick.

Fear of what will be discovered.

Fear it will be too hard.

Fear that God is disappointed.

Unknowingly, we cling to deep seated misconceptions about Spiritual Growth. Most of them tied to our inability to be – perfect.

Perfection is in our DNA. We were created to be perfect; to live in a perfect environment, in a perfect relationship with God.

The Fall of humankind has ruined this perfection. And we perpetuate the situation by our ongoing participation in our own brokenness. But we still crave perfection, we know it’s the goal.

Spiritual Growth is our pathway to a restored relationship with God. Beginning again, is a part of this pathway. Beginning again is also a large part of our lives. As if, God already knew we’d need opportunities to start over. Think of it:

Mornings.

Evenings.

Seasons.

New years.

All forms of beginnings again.

Yea, you put this off. Okay, you should have stuck with it. Sure, you’re afraid of what you’ll find. And yes, you might need to start over … so what? Stop beating yourself up. The need for perfection is yours, not His. Go ahead – don’t be afraid, welcome the opportunity to Begin Again.

 

A is for ATTITUDE

Posted on by Lisa Marion

I was fortunate to have a mother who took her faith seriously, and I must confess that I took full advantage of all her hard work. As long as she was alive, I could neglect my own Spiritual Growth. If I had a question about God, I could go to her. She had the answers I yearned for. But when she died, my lifeline to God died too.

She was young, and so was I. The trauma of losing my mother, at the very time I was becoming a mother, threw me into a tailspin. She left with so many of my questions, unanswered. I felt so alone, and so stupidly ignorant of my own faith. I knew I would need answers to my questions as I entered motherhood, so I began seeking God on my own. I had no choice.

A humble change occurred in me, I transformed from an aloof, comfortably disinterested Christian, into a sponge, soaking up every bit of knowledge I could find. Her death devastated me, I was desperate, and in that desperation, God met me. I have found that when I set my heart and mind to seek Him, He delivers on his promise to be found.

Along my journey, I have discovered many people who are hesitant to pursue spiritual growth. The truth is, as long as you are alive, you are growing. The growth is either active, into the warm, likeness of Christ, or passive, further into the cold, likeness of our broken selves.

There are many misconceptions about Spiritual Growth; What it is, or isn’t? Is it even possible? And how do you maintain momentum amid the demands of life. Time is a big issue, but Spiritual Growth has two chief enemies; time and attitude.

There will never be enough time for Spiritual Growth, and time is essential. Just as a seedling needs time to sprout, pushing through the hard dirt, we need to allow our new selves time to sprout and push through our hard hearts. We must MAKE or TAKE the time to focus inwardly, intentionally, and allow growth the time it needs. It is not a quick process, but it is a process, not a destination.

Spiritual Growth also demands a specific attitude, that being – humility. I was never interested in growing spiritually until my mother died. Honestly, I didn’t think I needed to grow … but in her absence, I was faced with a choice; strike out on my own, in the ignorant confidence of my own abilities and understandings, or admit that I needed what I did not have; inner strengthening.

And what is the purpose of this inner strength? Is it merely to give us the ability to cope with what life slings at us? No, although it helps us cope with life’s issues, the real purpose of Spiritual Growth is so that we may know fully the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ, a love that truly surpasses understanding.

Spiritual Growth has been my life’s focus since my mother’s death, 30 years ago. I look back and I hardly recognize the person I was. I learned in a very dark season, that you must take your own spiritual growth seriously, for no one can do it for you. God does not want to love us through another person, he desires an intimacy with each of us, an intimacy that can only be developed over time.

Join me, as I share what I have learned.

How is Your Lent Going?

Posted on by Lisa Marion

Just three weeks into our 40 days and I’m already feeling behind. Well, regardless, I’m thankful for the pause this season offers me.

For the last 5 years I have made a private retreat during Lent. This year I find myself with the Holy Cross Sisters. They have a lovely convent and retreat house in Ventura, California. You can find a link to their Siena Prayer Center on my resources page. 

Once a week one of the sisters invite the community to practice Centering Prayer and Lectio Divina, I was fortunate enough to have joined them a few nights ago.

If you’ve never practiced the Centering Prayer, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is similar to the eastern practice of meditation, except where the eastern practice is to become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on nothing but your breathing, the Christian tradition, helps you become centered by emptying yourself and focusing on being in God’s presence.

So often in our prayers we ask God to be with us. When truly, he is always with us, we just forget, or we don’t “feel” his presence. The Centering Prayer gives you an opportunity to practice your awareness of his presence. If you missed my post about it, you can read it here.

The Holy Cross Sisters take this a step further and follow their Centering Prayer practice with a group session of Lectio Divina. (Latin for “Divine Reading”) I enjoy group Lectio because I am able to listen to how God uses the same passage to meet numerous people right where they are, and last week was no different. Sr. Gloria Valdovinos skillfully lead us through group Lectio with the passage of the Prodigal Son.

The practice of Lectio Divina is a simple, intentional reading of a sacred passage. Traditionally there are four stages: Lectio, Meditatio, Oratio, and Contemplatio. In English, you might say: Reading, Ruminating, Response, and Rest.

For me there is a physical movement of the passage; it enters into my being through my eyes, LECTIO – reading. It moves into my mind for mediation – MEDITATIO. God allows something in the passage to touch my life, and I develop a verbal response to the passage, ORATIO – prayer. Finally, I give the passage rest in my heart, CONTEPLATIO – contemplation.

An ancient practice, Lectio Divina has its roots in the Benedictine tradition. Although practiced by the Holy Cross Sisters as a group exercise, it is usually worked as an individual spiritual practice.

I thought during Lent you might be interested in learning more about it and giving it a try, so I’ve put together some information on it. Click here and I’ll send it off to you. The information is borrowed, with permission from Fr. Luke Dysinger, OSB, of Saint Andrew’s Abbey in Valyermo, California.

I also have curated some resources for Group Lectio Divina. If you would like these resources for use in your own church or small group, drop me and an email and I’ll get them off to you. lisa@dailypax.com

I hope you are having a fruitful Lent.

~ lisa

 

Stop Dismissing Your Struggles

Posted on by Lisa Marion

In my work as a Spiritual Director, I am trusted with the details of people’s struggles. I am often surprised when I hear people dismiss their struggles by saying:

“Oh, first world problems.”

I’m not sure why this term applies. I mean, okay, really if you’re just complaining about something trivial, I get it. But, often there is more going on beneath the surface and it’s really best not to dismiss it.

Third world people may struggle for the want of clean water or a simple medication to fight an infection. First world people may struggle to find balance with a corporate work load, to be attentive to their family or friends.

On a scale where, one suffering is compared to another suffering, there is a level of severity that can be measured, yet stripped of this measure BOTH struggles touch something internally. Both struggles have value in their context. Both struggles are catalysts for seeking and trusting God.

Let’s compare two Gospel stories where Christ encounters people with struggles: the woman with the issue of blood, and the rich young ruler. These could be seen as third world, and first world, problems.

The woman is weak and an outcast. Anyone who has contact with her becomes “unclean.” Her chronic bleeding isolates her from community life and worship.

The rich young ruler, on the other hand, follows the Law and lives in comfort. Yet, he is uncertain that his life choices will bring about eternal life.

Her plea to Christ, “My life is unbearable! Heal me!”

His plea to Christ, “My life is unbearable! Give me assurance of eternal life!”

What is Christ’s response to the woman? He commends her courage and the risks she took in seeking an answer to her struggle. Then Christ heals her. “My daughter, your faith has restored you to health, go in peace.”

What is Christ’s response to the rich young man? Does he judge him and chastise his struggle? “Young man, get over it! First world problems! Suck it up and be grateful? You know I just healed a woman in the next town who has been bleeding for 12 years. Who are you to complain and moan about your self-centered, inner yearnings for the assurance of your salvation?”

No, Christ does not minimize or pass judgment on the young man’s struggle. He does not compare the severity of his pain to the pain of others. No, Christ meets this young man where he finds him. He treats him with dignity and validates his pain. Then, in love, Christ provides an answer to the young man’s struggle. Perhaps not the answer he was hoping for, but an answer none the less.

We all hurt the same. If you dismiss your pain, you also dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit to work in it, to strengthen you internally. Don’t wallow in self-pity, allow God to use whatever struggle you have to help you understand yourself and move you forward on your journey.

We are eternal beings working out eternal longings. In this life, the irritating agent of our struggles maybe as different as the desire for clean water, or the desire for confidence in life choices, but all your struggles will work for your good, if you let them.

Do you need some help moving past a struggle? Spiritual Direction can help with this movement. Click here to learn more about Spiritual Direction and how it can help you.