I keep note cards as reminders for my prayers. I keep one for each person I direct. I keep another specific card just for folks who’ve asked for healing. My cards are all different colors, except for the healing card, it is white.
Today during my quiet time, I crossed off two names and marked them with “RIP.” A phrase that has been highjacked by horror movies, but the sentiment is still full of our desires for the one who has died. In love we wish them the ability to rest from this chaotic earthly life, to rest from their pain and struggles. We pray they get the calm resting we all crave.
The act of praying for another is an act of love. People want to be released from their struggle, pain, and illness. Healing is a beautiful gift; one I’ve witnessed several times in my life. It is a profound experience, yet, one that I don’t fully understand. I’ve learned that healing is beautiful, an unexpected surprise, but I’ve also learned that death is not the worst thing that can befall us. Death can itself be a type of healing too.
My father’s health is declining. What sometimes seems “slowly” is actually “quickly.” His days drag on, and the months fly by at a breathtaking pace. This poor man is literally being kept alive with medicine and devices that propel his weakening body forward into each new day. His mind, still sharp, active, and mildly irritated, must adjust to an ever-changing medication regime. He is frail and can barely stand, but his mind rages against this reality. “I’ve got this! I am making progress.”
Yes Dad, progress, but your speech is beginning to lose its sharpness, you are short of breath, you confuse people and information. You may be making progress, winning these small battles, but you will eventually lose this war. He knows this and we are all content to leave it unsaid.
His weak heart is full of emotions and memories. Tears are often his companion as he thinks back on his life. “I’m ready to go.” Is the battle cry some days and on other days I hear, “I’m 12 years from turning 100! Won’t that be interesting.” He may have 12 weeks, 12 months, but certainly not 12 years. It is hard.
The two souls that were marked off my white healing card were both terribly ill. One almost 100, bed-ridden, and fully dependent on others. The other younger than myself – taken too soon, or sooner than you would expect.
Removed from my prayer list, no longer in need of healing. Sad? Maybe, but not really. They received the ultimate healing. While we live, we have needs, but once this life is completed, our needs evaporate, and we move into that paradoxical place of experiencing yet waiting, “already but not yet” as some theologians put it. Death is often a great mercy.
I muse on the specific events that will end my father’s earthly life. I await the call, thinking on those last moments at his bedside. I pray for a peaceful end, yet I will be ready for whatever the end looks like.
Please pray for us. Pray for a good death a peaceful passage from this life to the next.
Thank you for listening to my thoughts, and if you have a specific need, something that I should place on one of my colorful prayer cards, please email me. lisa [at] dailypax.com