I pleaded …

“Don’t take her Lord, we need her. Without her who will teach us about you?”

“You will, and you will teach others too.”

And so – I was commissioned to a ministry borne out of my sadness.
Called while alone and broken.
Not as one would assume … after healing and training.

Sent into a mission field I was already standing in.
No new language to learn, nor a foreign culture to understand.
Simply to “Put on Christ” and abandon myself to a new direction.

Eyes would turn to me now, a simple brown-eyed girl, an obedient child.

A ministry of words, ideas and nuances could be crafted.
A life lived with little meaning was now endowed with eternal meaning.
Reluctant and untrained I accepted the call.

Thus began the retelling of “His Story” through my story.

For a while longer I live in this body of weak flesh and bones.
I struggle and moan.
Not to be free of this it, my earthly tent,
but for my body to be brought to its end.
Not to die, but to get rid of the mortal part,
the part that breaks, gets tired and is weak.
My body longs for its fulfillment ~God has already given me the Spiritual part of
this glorified body …
I simply wait now for the completion his promise,
to make all things new.  

 

I haven’t had a dream of my mother in over 10 years – but she appeared to me last night in a quick dream. I don’ t remember much, it was more feelings and warmth – light, all sensory input without words. I remember her coming full in front of me – her face to mine. She looked fully into my face, her eyes looking straight into mine. She smiled, large and wide. No words, no message; just her open face, full of color and life. Warm colors and smells all around her. She was young and healthy, not a wrinkle nor gray hair. Soft locks of warm brown hair fell around her face – and her eyes – smiling. There was a whirl of motion, flowers and butterflies all around her – the movement so fresh and infused with life.

In all my other dreams we don’t make eye contact and she is always busy doing something else. Raking leaves or sitting at a switchboard – this dream consisted of nothing but eye contact and her face … she wasn’t doing anything just looking at me … what a blessing.

Always present, it goes before me and follows after
Unappreciated, taken for granted
Filling in the holes that carelessness created
Always a part of life, like breathing air
Sailing through rough times to emerge unscathed
Disregarding the needs of those placed outside the gate
Thinking only of ego, of growing self-esteem
Blossoming into beauty valued by the world
Lines begin to blur, lines of Honor, Trust, Principle
All mix together to form a convenient familiarity
Complacency becomes the new system, it’s easier
My way, My rules, My life
Decisions made too quickly
Standards … some lowered, some abandoned
The unpardonable sin

Boundaries snapped back into painful focus

Always present, it goes before me and follows after
Desired, held precious, sought after
Always a part of life, like breathing air
Sailing through rough times to emerge strengthened
Regarding the needs of those placed outside the gate
Thinking only of others, of heavenly esteem
Renewed now the beauty once created to become
Lines drawn again, anew, lines of Honor, Trust, Principle
All mix together to form a cohesive, obedient familiarity
Complacency extricated from the vocabulary
His way, His rules, His life
Decisions never made quickly
Standards … never again lowered, never again abandoned
The unpardonable sin, forgiven
Boundaries, freedom is found in perfect service
And love, never keeping back love

“Forsake me not, O God,
in my old age,
when I am gray-headed,
until I have showed Thy strength to this generation
and Thy power to all them that are yet for to come.”

~ my prayer today.

Thinking about these two contrasting ideas today.

God’s forgiveness is conditional. We are only forgiven in as much as we forgive.

However …

God’s love is unconditional. We are loved no matter what. This we take for granted. We shrug off God’s love as if it’s something of a right.

But think about forgiveness – unless we can turn to our friends, family and acquaintances and forgive them – God will not forgive us.

Could it be that love is something we all need, no matter what. But forgiveness is something that can only be experienced as we learn to forgive?

Something to think about.

I was sitting in the church the other morning.
I’m often there alone and seldom turn on the lights
just for myself. There is a good amount of sunshine
that makes its way into the room.

Before I began Morning Prayer I sat still, quiet.
Reflecting on the crucifix and statues of saints that flank the altar,
I noticed something I’d not seen before.
There is a gold outline on the robes of the saints.
With only a reflection of sunlight they became so obvious.
In the full light they blended in with the rest of the statue.

It made me think of the treasures God reveals to us when things
in our spiritual life are dark. We don’t see the blessings in
the full light of our daily lives … sometimes every thing around us
needs to be a little dark before we can really see the beauty
that is always with us.

Last night I attended the 2nd in a series of 5 lectures at local “bible college”. The speaker, a well know spiritual leader and author of several books asked us “What is the unbelievable goal of the spiritual life?”

He said if he surveyed everyone in the room most of us would say
the goal if the Spiritual Life is “getting to go to heaven.”

“Eternal life” he stated “is not the goal of the Spiritual Life, it is the by-product.”

He then went on for 20 minutes or so weaving us through some powerful Scriptures eventually answering his original question …

“The unbelievable goal of the Spiritual Life is to be transformed into the image of Christ so that we can be ‘Christ’ to the world around us.”

Everyone quickly began writing as if they might lose this profound thought.

I sat stunned.

Has the modern community of believers moved so far from the traditional faith that they have forgotten the goal.

The goal isn’t a mere ticket into heaven … our goal is to be changed into the likeness of Christ and bring the message of love and salvation to a lost and dying world.

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. ” (2 Cor 3:18)

Have we become so consummed with our own busy-ness that we’ve forgotten our brother?

“Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. ” (2 Cor 5:20)