Ok, it’s that time. Time for looking back and figuring out how we’re going to do this thing called life – better. We’ve collectively said we’ll join a gym, eat differently, or give up a bad habit, but we all know how that’s going to end. Experts say that most New Year’s Resolutions will be abandoned by the 17th of January, “Ditch Your New Year’s Resolution Day.”   There’s even a hashtag:  #ditchyournewyearsresolutionday

I don’t buy into the argument that you shouldn’t make a New Year’s Resolution simply because you’ll most likely fail. I think resolutions are good, and self-reflection is a key element of Spiritual Growth. The impulse to make a resolution is right, but something more is needed; a way to make the resolution work! I believe it is a matter of moving those resolutions from the subjective “desire realm” into the objective “reality realm.”

I have adopted living by a Rule of Life as a means to integrate my desires into reality. The idea of a Rule of Life is a very old Christian tradition. The word RULE originally comes from the monastic tradition, and is used to outline a code of life that members of a community agree to follow. Comparing the two words might shed some light on why I think a Rule of Life is helpful.

Resolution, n.
A trait of being resolute. Finding a solution to a problem. A decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. (Sound familiar?)

Rule, n. 
A principle or condition that customarily governs behavior. Something regarded as a normative example. Prescribed guide for conduct or action.

A rule makes something customary, a resolution is simply making a decision.

Let me give you an example so you can see how I put the principle of Rule of Life into play with something very ordinary. I have always loved my cell phones, and use them a lot. I also drop my cell phones, a lot. About a year ago, I finally purchased one of the biggest, fastest, and most powerful cell phones they make … and yes, I dropped it. I was walking to the car hurriedly and I dropped it, and then I kicked it under the car. I was so furious at myself. It cost a ton of money to fix, and it was very aggravating.

I thought “I must find a way to prevent this from ever happening again.” But, just having the desire NOT to drop my cell phone wasn’t enough. So, I made a rule for myself.

NEVER carry your cell phone in your hand.

It didn’t take me long to keep the rule, because it became part of how I operate. It’s been a long time since I’ve dropped my cell phone, because I never carry it anymore. It is either in my purse or a pocket or tucked away on my person somewhere.

Having a Rule objectifies things. You follow the Rule whether you feel like it or not. There is a Rule that I must stop at all red lights, so I do. There is a Rule that I must wait in line at the grocery store, so I do. I have made a Rule that I don’t carry my cell phone, so I don’t.

We can take the subjective desires behind our New Year’s Resolutions and incorporate them, objectively, into our Rule of Life. I’ve desired more peace in my life, so one thing I’m adding to my Rule of Life this year is to observe a 24-hour period of silence on the first Friday of each month.

Creating a rule isn’t difficult, there are many resources.  I have led many people through the process. Through the years, I have designed a simple worksheet that walks you through the steps. Email me lisa [at] dailypax.com.

Here’s to a new year, full of new rules to follow – objectify your desires, and you’ll have better results bringing your resolutions to life.

pax,

~ lisa

‪#‎cleanoutyourcomputerday‬

“Observed on the second Monday in February, this day is set aside to take some time out of your busy schedule to do needed care on your computers.”

I say how about a national day set aside to do needed care in your mind? Our minds, like computers, get clogged up with old files and memories that cause us to stay stuck in the past. We obsess over things we cannot change. Just like my computer, my mind holds on to unused files and programs that clog my memory and distract me.

I’m taking a few minutes today to clear out useless information and memories that are barriers in my pursuit of peace. 

Although I wrote this piece 3 years ago, after the Sandy Hook tragedy, the thoughts are still salient in light of the recent outpouring of violence.

For all my friends with young children – there is no need to overwhelm your children with sadness, but it is important to engage them in some conversation. If you don’t … who will?

To read more visit:

Sadness – Talk About It

Great I Am, 
Gentle and Loving Creator,
Who knows me better than I know myself.
Ignite within me a deep desire to allow
the reality of your presence into my heart
– the space to rest there –
Thereby creating within me a peace,
that is not of myself nor of mine own understanding,
yet so deeply rooted inside of me,
that not matter where i am or
what is happening I will know,
with great confidence,
that I am within your watchful care.
I pray this in the name of your Son, the Prince of Peace.
Through the power of your indwelling Spirit – Amen.

Sometimes in the fall, when the afternoon sunlight is just right you can see the grain of the wood in the body on the large crucifix over the altar at church. I marvel at how the grain matches the pattern of the muscles it fills; concentric shadows and layers repeat the shape. I wonder at how the wood feels about being used for such a precious form; conveying the love of God to those who look upon the image.

My modern mind mocks me for a minute; as if wood had feelings. Then I recall the psalm that reminds me that all creation praises God and shows forth the truth of him. Nature cannot help but convey God, for it has no free-will. It does what it was created to do.

I on the other hand struggle to know what I was created for.

My free-will gets in the way. The very gift of choice has the potential to prevent me from fulfilling all that God has intended me to become. I was created to be an image bearer; bearing his image to a lost and dying world. I want people to see the grain of my wood, the inner marks that are only visible when the surface is scratched, shaped or polished.

Lord, help me be open to your shaping so that when the light hits me just right others might see the concentric layers of what is inside me. Without you I am as shapeless as I am aimless, unbounded, out of control. Give me your shape. Mold me with a firm gentleness, so that I will know and others will see the very thing that gives me shape and animates me  – you.